A Harry Potter comedy

Chapter 3

Diagon Alley

Harry was amazed at all he saw. The streets were crowded with people as they toppled over each other, saying: "Ouch!", "Hey, ‘scuse me”, “Pardon me”, or “Get off me!”

Hagrid and Harry had just entered through a brick wall (after Hagrid bashed it five thousand times) and arrived at… Diagon Alley. Searching through the swarm of magicians, Hagrid looked down at his pants and said, “Now, I need new pants; let's go to Madam Malkin's first.” Harry nodded, still stunned from his surroundings. Hagrid bowled through the crowd, and Harry was positive he saw some people fly into the air from the brute force of Hagrid walking through. Some yelled at Harry to run for his life. Within seconds, the streets cleared. After a minute, he started hearing hissed whispers: “It's Harry Potter.”

Madam Malkin’s

After Harry entered, he heard some banging and shuffling. He turned around and found Hagrid stuck in the door. At last, a witch came over, and sighed, “Not again.” She then karate-kicked Hagrid out the door. “Try again.”

Hagrid lowered his head and shoulders, making him look just like a fighting bull. He rammed through the door, but his strong momentum carried him through the other wall. A boy behind Harry snickered as they heard a splash as Hagrid fell head first into a lake.

“Looks like the gamekeeper can't stand indoors or outdoors, or stay upright in general," the boy quipped with a smirk.

“Shut up,” Harry muttered, clearly annoyed.

“You first,” he replied. He had slick back blonde hair and blue eyes, and the smug look of someone who practically invented sarcasm.

“Not likely,” Harry answered.

“I already can’t stand you,” the kid said, eyeing Harry, scanning him.

“Then sit down,” Harry retorted. That shut him up.

Hagrid came back in, face bright red, holding his pants. “Um, well… now I have ter get new pants,” he mumbled. “They caught on a rock and tore… at least my undergarments made it.” Harry put his face in his hands as the boy tried his very best not to laugh.

“Oh, dear,” Madam Malkin sighed.

Author: Lani Haluki
Editor: Kyra Shirley
Proofreader: Tulip Karasu
Artist: Mia